


This is Who I Really Am

by Freedom



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: BAMF Bella, BAMF Quil, Different pack, F/M, Rich Bella, Shifter Bella, Strong Bella, independent bella
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 14:04:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3939571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freedom/pseuds/Freedom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Edward abandoned her, Bella turned to Jacob to fix her. Now that Jacob's abandoned her as well, who will she turn to? Who will she become?</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is Who I Really Am

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, besides the one's marked as OC. The other character's belong to Stephanie Meyer.

The rain was rushing in her ears as she ran up the stairs to her room, the words Jacob had spoken to her kept running through her head, “Go home, Bella. I can’t hang out with you anymore.” The whole in her heart was ripped open even further. Looking up into the mirror Bella felt like someone had shoved their hand into her chest and had ripped out her soul. She looked lifeless. Her skin was pale, almost transparent. The dark bags under her eyes made her look like an addict. Her brown hair was stringy and looked like a rat’s nest. She looked skeletal due to all of the meals she had missed. Her eyes were what scared her though. Her eyes looked dead. They were dull and filled with sadness. Isabella Marie Swan of Washington was on the verge of death. The person that she had become, the shell of who she really was, had been pushed to the breaking point and had fallen over the cliff. Sobbing Bella fell into her bed, rocking back and forth. Looking up she saw a flash of red underneath her calendar. Stumbling over to her desk, she lifted up the calendar, and looked at the photo it had been hiding. Grabbing the memory off the wall, Bella stumbled back to sit on her bed.

The photo was one of her back in Phoenix. She was clothed in black skinny jeans, a short-sleeved, white and blue striped rugby shirt, and had a superman ball cap on backwards. She was sitting on a ramp at the skate park with her animated Marvel skateboard in her lap. Next to her was her best friend Rider Keagan. She had cornrowed her fire red hair and had then braided the cornrows, the braid had still fallen down farther than her butt. She was also wearing skinny jeans and a rugby shirt,except hers was purple and white stripes, with her Captain America skateboard in her lap. Rider’s twin Kendall was squatting behind us in skinny jeans and a long-sleeved, green and white striped rugby shirt. Kendall had propped his lion board up against his knee. The Seneca brothers were standing behind us. Roscoe had pulled his shoulder length, black hair back in a ponytail and was wearing black denim jeans, with his long-sleeved, black and grey striped rugby shirt. His brother Asa was wearing the same as him, except his rugby shirt was white and black stripes. They both had their alien skateboards slung over their shoulders.

Renee had taken the photo of them at a skateboarding competition in Phoenix. They had worn the rugby shirts as their team uniforms. The gang, as they called themselves, had wanted to do one last thing together before she had moved to Forks. Moving back over to her mirror Bella looked at the corpse she had become, compared to who she used to be. The differences were astounding...and they lit a fire in her eyes. Coming to Forks had opened up old wounds and brought insecurities. The insecurities had led her to be someone she never should have been. With a look of determination, the young woman standing in front of the mirror said,  “I am not Bella Swan. I am not some weak little girl. I am not clumsy or desperate for approval.” Swallowing she continued in a stronger voice, “I am Isa Swan. I’m loud and outgoing. I’m brave and opinionated. I’m strong and graceful. I’m going to show everyone who I really am.” A smile could be heard in her voice as she started to form planes. Tomorrow she would start and she would shock ‘em dead.

* * *

Isa woke up the next day to sun streaming in from her window. Getting up she headed to the bathroom to freshen up. Stepping out of the shower she looked at the horror her hair had become. Mentally adding another stop to her spree she went back into the room and added another dozen shops she would need to stop at. Going to her closet Isa pried open the floorboard in the back right corner and pulled out the contents. Shuffling through the stash she picked up her wallet and made sure her sleek, black credit card was inside it, along with a few hundred Ben Franklins. She stuffed her wallet and her papers into a backpack, then took off down the stairs. Stilling at the silence of the house she remembered that Charlie had gone to a mandatory convention for Chief of Police. Smiling she decided that a week and a half is plenty of time for an entire home decoration. Skipping outside she got into her truck, Betsy, and drove towards Olympia for a three day shopping trip. She spent the trip singing along with the latest pop music and for the first time since getting to Washington, she felt free. Pulling into the hotel she had called on the way down Isa checked in and dropped off her luggage, heading to the nearest car dealership. Looking around she meandered through the cars until she got to the trucks. As much as Isa loved Betsy, she was too much of hindrance to continue driving. Walking around for a bit she decided and headed off to find a salesman. “Hi, I’m Isa and I was looking to buy that Ford F-150 you have,” she said pointing at the one she was talking about.

“Of course, if you would follow me.” The short, slightly balding man lead her towards his office. “If you would fill out these papers, please.” He passed the papers over and Isa was soon the new owner of a black, 2015 Ford F-150. Smiling as she pulled out of the dealership she headed downtown to the mall. After spending hours inside the mall picking out and trying on multiple outfits Isa left the mall weighed down with bags. She had bought twenty-five graphic t-shirts ranging from skulls to marvel characters to naughty sayings. The fifteen long-sleeved shirts she had gotten followed the same pattern. She had also gotten ten tank tops with anime or more naughty sayings on them. She had also gotten sixteen pairs of skinny jeans, five black, three white, two red, two green, two blue, two purple. She had gotten four pairs of denim capris. She had gotten about twelve pairs of shorts ranging from black to denim to lace, all of them were short though. She had also gotten multiple fuck me pumps, ankle breaker heels, doc martens, and uggs. She also had quite a few Victoria Secret bags hanging from her arms. Isa headed to the upscale part of Olympia next. There she bought sheer blouses and off the shoulder dresses. She shopped a bit for Charlie as well and got him a new suit and some ties.

Throwing the bags into the bed of her truck, Isa pulled out the bed cover to keep the bags from getting wet and stolen. Driving to the hotel Isa raced up to her room and dove onto the queen sized bed. Grabbing her laptop Isa got onto the fashion accounts that she had abandoned when coming to Forks. Smirking Isa thought of how Alice would drop dead at what she wore. Looking up from her computer Isa noticed that two hours had gone by, ordering a pizza to be delivered to her room Isa went through her shopping cart and was more than happy with her choices. Her cart consisted of bustiers, bralettes, studded leather jackets, studded heels and sandals, along with an assortment of studded jewelry and different nail polishes and hair products. Hearing a knob Isa glanced at the door. Nabbing her cell and some money Isa paid the delivery boy while calling the storage company she had in Phoenix. “Hi, this is Isa Swan, I have a storage compartment at your facility.”

“Yes, number 273, correct?”

“That’s the one! I put my belongings in the storage because I moved in with my dad and didn’t know if I was staying or not. Now that I do know, that I’m staying with him, I was wondering if you could by chance ship everything in my unit to me.” Isa really hoped that they would ship it, she really didn’t feel like going to Phoenix.

“Yes, we can. We’ll add it to your closing fee. Where would you like it shipped to?” Came the perky voice.

“Are you able to ship it overnight?”

“Yes we can, as a matter of fact our mail deliverer just came.” A ‘hello’ could be heard in the background.

“Awesome, if you could have it shipped overnight to the Red Lion Hotel, room number 194, please.”

“That will be no problem,”

“Thank you. Good night.”

“Night.” Hanging up the phone Isa saw the late hour. Finishing off her pizza, she did her nightly routine, using one out of the thirteen sets of the hair and body gel sets she had gotten from Bath & Body Works. Crawling into bed the exhausted young teen fell asleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

The next day Isa was woken up to the knocking on her door. Getting up she opened the door and gifted her the intruder of her dreams with an icy glare. Spotting the boxes behind the hotel employ she opened her door wider and helped him move the storage boxes into the closet in her room. Thanking the man she then spent the rest of the morning lounging and ordering furniture for her room. She had decided she would paint the wall behind her bed to look like an azure blue pavement texture and the rest she would paint off black. She decided she was going to hang all of her skate boards on the wall above her new Chintaly Swing desk in white. She had bought a new Surface 3 with a bright blue keyboard to attach, while at the electronic store Isa had also bought a new Iphone and an ipod with purple beats. The bedset she had picked out was black bed set with thick white lines that followed the outside and crossed. Isa had also bought a new white bookshelf to hold all of the books she was going to by today. Before coming to Forks, Isa had been taking advanced classes and was on the road to graduating early and getting a full-ride. Hopping off the bed Isa changed into some black skinny jeans, a white and black baseball t-shirt that read, “Being short just means it’s easier to for me to kick you in the nuts,” and a pair of black, round closed toe heels. Leaving Isa started towards the nearest upscale hair place she could find that took walk in appointments.

Strolling up to the desk Isa looked at the pretty receptionist, “Hi, I’m Isa, and I was wondering if I could get a cut and a color job.”

“No problem, we have two hairdressers open. Let me go get one,” came the perky voice of the desk lady. Flipping through some books she decided she would just have the split-ends trimmed and she would just style her hair at home to whatever she felt like that day. She would get her hair dyed darker with thick red highlights and thin blonde ones mixed in. Hearing a voice calling her name Isa followed and spent the next two hours discussing the local gossip. Since she was already there Isa decided to get a black matte french manicure. Strutting out of the salon Isa headed back to the mall she had been at yesterday. Meandering into the Barnes&Nobles Isa went directly to the language department. She had been studying russian in an attempt to understand Rider and Kendall more. On a whim she also picked up a book on native american lore. Heading to the education section she picked up textbooks on calculus, anatomy, and physics. Wondering she picked up the few titles that interested her and added them to her basket. Purchasing the books she dropped them off in the truck and headed back into the mall. Finding the music shop she had spotted the day before she headed inside. She ended up buying Nickelback, Skillet, AC/DC, Ozzy Osborne, John Mayer, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Pink Floyd, Maroon 5, Neon Trees, OneRepublic, and P!nk. The cash was flowing at that store. Isa also stopped in the art store, she figured she would need to do a few more paintings to replenish the money she was spending.

Heading out of the mall Isa went to the closest furniture store. She bought a new leather recliner love seat and the lazy boy that went with for Charlie. She also bought a new flat screen to put in the living room. The old one she would probably donate. She bought a bizillion picture frames to help decorate the house with memories. She bought a whole new cooking set to replace the outdated pans in the kitchen and she bought a collection of new appliances. She got a new desktop for the study that would sit on the red oak desk that she had ordered. The study would also be gifted with new bookshelves that she would fill with the journals and mementos from the Swan family. She had gotten another leather love seat for the study and a glass coffee table as well. Both bathrooms were also going to be getting a serious makeover. A new toilet would be going in both and a new shower would be going into the bathroom upstairs. The laundry room was also getting new appliance and a fancy layer of paint. The desk in Charlie’s office was also leaving, to be replaced by another red oak. The old dinosaur computer was being trashed for a new desktop and the bookshelves were going to be filled with the crime and investigation books she had gotten for Charlie.

Returning to the hotel she fell into bed without changing, exhausted from the day she had. The smile on her face was blinding, it was one of absolute joy.

* * *

Waking up, Isa rushed around the hotel room, condensing so it would fit in the truck. The boxes from her storage unit had gone into the bed along with the more sturdy items like the books and the picture frames. Her clothes bags littered the ground and the seats of her trucks. Today was the day she had been waiting for though. Pulling the truck into the paint store she hurried through her shopping and was soon back on the road. parking in front of the store, she reminded herself of why she was doing this. Stepping into the tattoo place she smiled at the receptionist. Isa decided to get three lobe piercings, three rim piercings, and a helix piercing in each of her ears. She had also decided to get a nostril piercing and a piercing in her right eyebrow. After getting her piercings she had chosen to get a phoenix tattooed in between her shoulder blades to represent the renewing of who she is and where her home was. While telling her story behind the tattoo she realized how the Cullens had manipulated and she was pissed. The phoenix had turned out beautiful. It was a red phoenix with yellow and orange highlighting its wings and plumage and the tail feathers were inked black. The artist had made it so that it looked to be in midflight.

Isa left the shop with a smile and was soon on the road towards Forks. The trip was spent listening to the new cds and mapping out which rooms she would start painting first. Reaching home Isa decided halled of her shopping bags and storage boxes into the house. Racing across the street she paid a couple of kids to help her take her desk, bookcase, Charlie's desk, and the couch to the basement. Paying the kids, Isa ran back upstairs and started setting up to paint.

The next two days were spent with painting. Isa’s room turned out better than she thought it would. She had painted Charlie’s office brown and had painted a mural of the forest with a few deer running  through it. The bathroom was painted grey with yellow accents. Isa left the kitchen, dinning room, and living room the same. The laundry room was painted a light brown and the downstairs bathroom matched the upstairs one. The study was painted also painted the light brown with green accents. Sighing Isa fell asleep sore, but satisfied.

The next day the furniture arrived and the rooms were put together. Isa was thankful that the school had been canceled due to gas leakage. Looking around Isa put finished putting up the photos of her with Charlie as a baby and when he took her fishing. There were even a couple from when he had tried to teach her how to hunt. Isa also put up others from her accomplishments that Charlie had missed out on seeing. The last thing she added was a painting she had made of her and Charlie standing near the forest. Charlie was in a pair of dark jeans and a green henley. Isa was wearing wearing light denim skinny jeans and a blue, long-sleeved shirt. They were both smiling and Charlie had his arm wrapped around her waist. Isa went to bed that night with a bright smile and happy thoughts.


End file.
